Good news and bad news

The bad news: Animal agriculture is the leading cause of climate change, causes animal cruelty and torture, contributes to environmental racism, air pollution, water pollution, land use, deforestation, ocean dead zones,species extinction, threatens marine biodiversity, and contributes to tons of human rights violations.

The good news: Veganism is a solution that most people can consider. By adopting a vegan lifestyle, you can boycott the cruelty mentioned above, save the environment, improve your health, and of course, make a better world for animals. Not eating animal products is easier than ever nowadays, with tons of resources available at the click of a button. It is completely healthy and safe for the majority of people, and can be as affordable as you’d like.

The even better news: Even if you’re not able to be completely vegan for whatever reason, everyone can do something! Whenever you have the chance, turn down the opportunity to contribute to animal cruelty. You can do this in easy ways, such as switching your burger for a veggie option, buying products that aren’t tested on animals, purchasing non-leather shoes, etc.Don’t do nothing because you can’t do everything. Do something, anything.

My parents won't let me go vegan!

You want to go vegan while living at home but your parents are hesitant to let you make the change. Usually, this is because of 5 main reasons:

1. they’re afraid you won’t get enough nutrients and will become unhealthy,
2. they worry it will be more expensive than a typical meat-eating diet,
3. they don’t want to take the time to cook a separate meal for you any time you all want to eat together,
4. they worry that you’ll pressure them to change their diets too when they don’t want to, and/or
5. they don’t want to devote their energy and time into understanding a diet that they think will probably just be a phase for you.

So, how do you go about changing their minds? This post will cover that topic, but it's in no way completely comprehensive of the process. I would recommend searching the web for more support (starting with this YouTube video by Essena ONeill and these these podcasts by Colleen Patrick Goudreau, both highly recommended), and reaching out to fellow vegans on a social media, such as instagram or tumblr.

1. Pick a good time to talk to your parents, either individually or together. When they’ve come back after a long and tiring day of work and just want to relax, the last thing they want to hear is something potentially stressful. Make sure you are both are well-rested and have eaten recently. Generally, unless you know their reaction will be relatively positive, wait until a peaceful moment to approach them.

2. Be calm, kind, and understanding. Your parents will be a lot more likely to listen to you if you are mature about the subject. Remember that almost every vegan in the world once ate meat, and you were in their shoes at one time. Try to recall how defensive or angry you might have been when you first discovered veganism, and extend your compassion towards them. It is okay to be angry. But we have to remember what works best: will your parents respond better to facts and logic, or screaming and hysterics? You want to appear as responsible as possible to show that you can be trusted to change your lifestyle by yourself.

3. Be prepared. Before you talk to your parents, you need to know what you’re talking about! Research ahead of time on the areas that you think your parents will care about most. If your mom is into fitness, let her know all about the amazing health benefits. If your dad is into environmentalism, emphasize to him how great eating plant-based is for the planet. Give them a broad summary of it all, but try to make it appeal to them as well. This is not to try to make them go vegan with you necessarily, but to appeal to their emotions. Which brings us to our next point...

4. Make sure they know this is about you, not them. As great as it would be if all parents transitioned into veganism with their kids, it’s not realistic to expect that. Assure them that you will still love them the same if they continue to eat meat and dairy so they don’t feel alienated. Yes, it’s easy and understandable to be frustrated with them, but change takes time. Just because they’re not willing to change now doesn’t mean it will be like that forever. Parents can likely feel like you’re going vegan to push them away, so make sure they know this is not the case.

5. Offer to show them other resources, like documentaries, credible websites, and books. They’ll be a lot more likely to listen to you if they can see that you have facts on your side. Ask if you can all sit down and watch a documentary together. This is a good way to let them know that you want their support and encouragement, and you’re not doing this to rebel against them. Check these out:

Earthlings - watch this with caution, it contains a lot of undercover investigations into slaughterhouses, fur farms, puppy mills, etc.

Cowspiracy - this is 100% worth the money to buy it!! if you don’t have the money you can search and find it online, but if you are able to support this amazing film please do

101 Reasons to Go Vegan - this one is really nice to watch for first timers since it’s more light-hearted and not very “preachy”

Vegankit - a great resource for beginners

The Vegan Society

Vegan.com

UN urges global move to meat and dairy-free diet - a good study from an extremely credible resource

ADAPTT - I don’t support Yourofsky at all but this website has amazing information

Nutrition Facts - brought to you by doctors

6. Offer to cook for your family sometime. This way you can show them that you’re willing to take some responsibilty for your choice. Sometimes parents worry that you’ll start to exclusively rely on their cooking so this can relieve that stress. Try starting with a dish that is already vegan, like pasta, to prove to them that the diet can be familiar. If cooking on your own sounds intimidating, offer to cook with them. Sometimes it helps to give them the option to add in meat and dairy afterwards so they don’t feel like they have to prepare a second meal for you. If that doesn’t work, offer to prepare your own meals by yourself.

7. Go shopping with them. Bring along a grocery list that is already written out and show them just how many food options you have at a standard grocery store. Sometimes parents worry that they’ll have to start exclusively shopping at whole foods, which isn’t true. Eating vegan does not have to be any more expensive than eating a meat-based diet. I will write more about this idea in a future post. Until then, see these resources: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

8. If your parents are still not responsive to the idea, see if you can bargain with them. For example, offer to do chores in exchange for eating vegan. Offer to eat vegetarian at first to get them used to it. Trying to reason with them can show just how serious you are about transitioning.

Additional tips:

• Don’t address them as “you”, instead say “me” or “we”. It shifts the blame off of the people that you’re talking to and onto yourself. This makes them feel less pressured, and in turn, more likely to listen to you.
• If you think your parents will get defensive about ethics, tell them that your reasoning was environmental. That way you can bring up stone-cold facts if they try to challenge you (politely and calmly of course). With ethics it’s more difficult because the idea that idea that animals have to suffer and die for food is still considered an opinion.
• Whenever you debate with them, remember to be very respectful and calm. Being angry or frustrated might feel like the best option in the heat of the moment, but you have to remember that veganism is not about you in the slightest. It’s about the animals and what will help them the most.
• If your parents just want to hear themselves talk and aren’t actually curious, don’t bother trying. Point them to some resources they can go to if they’d like to know more on their own time, and end the conversation there.

If your parents are strictly against the idea for whatever reason, don’t lose hope. Just because you can’t commit yourself 100% doesn’t mean you can’t do anything! You can still eat a plant-based diet while outside your home, try not to buy items that were tested on animals, and encourage others to do the same. As long as you are doing everything in your power to avoid cruelty in your lifestyle (within reason of course) then don’t feel bad. Look forward to the day when you move out and can make your own food choices. Until then, just do your best and know that you have many other vegans who are on your side rooting for you.